Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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