Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
