listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
