I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
