That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just threw up on my dentist
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
