How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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