We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
