I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
