It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
