So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
