White coat. Heels.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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