Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
