Someone shit on the floor
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
