i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
