I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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