Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
