That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
