I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
