its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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