i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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