96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
