addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
