Are we in a gay sports bar?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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