im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
