I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
