I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My bed smells like the plague
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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