i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
