Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
