she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
