I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
