Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
