I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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