You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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