The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
