i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
