if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
