i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
