I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
