you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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