I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
