Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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