just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
