My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
