the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
