Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
