well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
