There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
