You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
