I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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