ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
